the new disease came. i learn that time does not heal. everything gets worse with days. i have spots like a dog. i cough and connot turn my head. i consider sleeping with people i do not like. i need to lie back to front with someone who adores me. i will think more before i cannot. i love my mind when it is fucking the cracks of events. i want to tell you what i know in case it is of use. i want to go to the future please.