the new disease came. i learn that time does not heal. everything gets worse with days. i have spots like a dog. i cough and connot turn my head. i consider sleeping with people i do not like. i need to lie back to front with someone who adores me. i will think more before i cannot. i love my mind when it is fucking the cracks of events. i want to tell you what i know in case it is of use. i want to go to the future please.
the truth is that i can come off as cruel or unforgiving or nitpicky or annoying or pretend but in all honesty, i am filled to the brim with too many emotions and i am working on myself. i am not easy to be around all the time and i am not always easy to maintain contact with, i know this about myself. as nikki giovanni said, ‘i am not an easy woman to want’ and i resonate with that so clearly it breaks me apart. but i am honest and trying to live and make an okay world for all people.
this picture is from july. things were different then, but not really.
Posted: June 29, 2012 • 4:15 PM With: 12 notes Filed Under: #me #personal #mirror #confession #activism #queer #nikki giovanni #cotton candy on a rainy day