my whole body feels like it’s melting

wine! wine! wine! wine! wine! wine! wine! wine! wine! wine! wine! wine!

IM SO ANXIOUS IM BOILING UP INSIDE????!!!!!!!!!!?????!?!!???!!!!

I keep hanging out w this boy and accidentally not hooking up w him

I want to climb a rly tall mountain and jump off and fall to the ground and break into a million pieces

my heart is full of poison and it’s your fault

me, one moment: damn I really need to be positive I’m gonna beat this depression! yeah! I’m gonna make friends and I’m gonna dress cute and I’m gonna make sure my life is full of pos vibes because the world is beautiful :^)
next minnit: dam fuck this fuck you fuck everyone I have no patience for boys I’m gonna wear leggings and a black shirt again bc fuck you that’s why. no I don’t care about your band. get out of my face.

my only real interests these days are the song soldier by destiny’s child and soft clothing

nervous for classes to start, as always, excited for a distraction, i want my work to be the BEST n i know it’ll be hard but god damn i’m gonna draw some trees, u frikn betcha i will

my mind is like concentrated negativity right now I’m so mad at you and sad in general and upset about existing. I get made fun of for being overly dramatic a lot but I’m just feeling very intensely right now and it doesn’t feel ok, I need help today but there’s nowhere to go that will help me. idk I wanted so badly to stay positive

when I wanted to kill myself most it was kinda like this (but worse bc I am not having those thoughts rn), not that I hate myself really badly or because I think I deserve to die, but because I have this intense feeling of hopelessness that I will ever feel better, and I’m in a lot of pain! it’s painful to exist right now. this anxiety is too real and I feel myself ripping at the seams

you’re not worth all this pain, you’re a [REDACTED], but I hurt, I hurt

i’m just not like, side girl material, u know

I don’t understand why I’m not being madly fallen in love with all the time??? like I’m a 10. I wore a thong.

i want 2 see u again so i can give you the most unforgettable oral sex,

what in GODS NAME IS MY Problem i cannot stop ugly crying over a DUMB BOY who could not care LESS ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!

i’m exhausted n i can’t sleep anymore and it’s this horrible sadness that makes that happen and also that i can do nothing about and it’s like , my pla n was to go to tasty burger and get really good at pool w you all summer and look what youve done now…

nd all i can think about is your ambivalence because maybe im being overdramatic but it just hurts so much and i can’t do anything about it.  you and whoever else, you’re going to fuck her and forget me, i know it will happen.  and in the past i’ll just be some crazy girl you knew one time in college your friends will be like “wow remember that awful girlfriend you had back then?” and youll be like “yeah good thing i ditched her” and it’ll be horrible

and i just can’t stop feeling this way and i want to be over it and goddammit i will not text you because it is so fucked, everything is so fucked, and you are sleeping with other people and my confidence is completely ruined like where did my self esteem go? i dont know i feel like u stole it all away from me

i’m like so shattered and fucked, i cant, i dont want this, i dont want to be a person anymore ijust want to transcend and i cant breathe right now and its all i can do to avoid a panic attack

f uck